happens that there are moments in the life of a little 'all persons, in we fixed it with something or someone: a car, motorcycle, a singer, an actor, a city (although it seems strange, I can assure you that happens). In general, and a significant percentage of cases (not going to give you figures because I have enough to share in this speech, then I would give up a bust), eventually the novelty wears off, or are fixed with something else, recommencing the cycle, and the former is set aside, in a box: you know it's there, every now and resume in hand, but it has no further developments. It 's just a way as any to escape the daily routine, the alternation of wake up, breakfast, work, lunch break, work, coming home, sport, shower, TV, computer, bed and so on . You go to find something out of the ordinary that we hope will make our lives, if not better, at least bearable. Some call it a hobby, some call it passion, some call it obsession. Different names to describe the same phenomenon.
For me it is quite different, and not because I like to think of myself as a kind of emancipation, but because my mind rebels at Stagnation , pass me the famous quote. I mean, I have a serious problem with the stand and do nothing in the broadest sense of the term, namely: failed to adapt to the routine of everyday life, and having reached the conclusion that the my future life will never be made up of things that are repeated over and over, when I find someone who gives me the key to liberation from this condition and I cling I do not give up more. This creates many other problems, but all more or less manageable.
How does all this with the first speech is easily understood. Many of you know the story, but since it is functional to the general understanding I do a quick summary. Four years ago I met Bruce, and looking back now I can say that there was time, a long time to be honest, when I was obsessed with Bruce, but just completely. So that was not listening to other music, in my conversations could get more, and my life took place largely in its function. This lasted for a couple of years, say until I trafserita in Rome for the university and I began to understand that if I survive I had to give me a minute to do and be always hitting her head on the PC. In 2009, the last year, Bruce is back on tour in March and my life has begun to revolve around him, albeit with moderation and not morbid attachment (for the series, however, I got up every night when he played, the setlist and I transcribed the diary, and bought dozens of tickets for concerts all over Europe, and so on - maybe now you'll understand when I said I'm a special case, if this is moderation ...), to the point where I planned a trip for two weeks in the U.S. without saying anything to my parents, for a total of six concerts by Bruce Springsteen & The E Street Band and two of the Gaslight Anthem. But the setting was passed to me, eh. The last concert in Philadelphia on October 20 last year was something so strong, so thrilling, so exciting, so intense in its three and a half hours for me to say that after that there could be nothing at par (without want to imply that anything more for me was the closest thing to perfection that an agreement could be reached, stop). Back home it took me about ten of days to recover from the trip, and Bruce had nothing to do in small part, go to the States for me was the realization of a dream, see New York City, Jersey, Asbury Park, eating a Philly cheesesteak and walk to Broadway the Starbucks cup in hand, climb the Rockefeller Center at midnight, look down and have the most beautiful city in the world beneath you, led by New York City Serenade, which makes you look like in a movie: all this made me feel alive, now part of something where I was moving perfectly at ease. Putting into perspective, the concerts were really a plus, though few have understood.
I decided to put aside Bruce, was also time: I had seen him play at his house, which was what I wanted most when I was coming into contact with his song, and finally I had it done. I could not objectively ask - and ask - and more. For the new year I suggested once again to devote myself to the passion that I had neglected over the past two to three years due to Bruce, a passion that I want to become my life: the cinema. However, between saying and doing, there are so many things that the middle one is always on the verge of surrender.
Let me explain. First, the vast majority of those who know me enough to know Bruce when I set my new connection I do not say that I laughed in my face, but at least he made a face somewhere between "You're taking the piss? "and" You Can not Be Serious! "(which, by the way, I was nervous a lot, 'because nobody can afford to tell me what has priority in my choices) . The second reaction was to fall from the clouds, like: "The cinema!? Oh, c'mon, "and the worst thing is that many have, to have her, which made me realize what my attachment was too much to Bruce, so as to obscure everything else.
But still, despite I put all this adverse climate on, metaphorically speaking, records of Bruce and I pulled out the dvd, my expenses have been increasingly directed to the purchase of DVD / Blu-ray and the end of February last I was able to allow for the bd coveted player, whose purchase now for a year and a half I kept having to postpone due to other expenses Springsteen. I began to mend the clothes (mind you, I'm still down with jeans, but at least I stopped dressing in layers like when wandering from one city to another and from one show to another), to change a bit 'more , to reduce the consumption of sweets and junk food varied and, most importantly of all, I started jogging regularly, and even when my legs are rebelling and calling for the stop is continuing, because I have a strong motivation, perhaps for the first time in my life.
What is it easily understood. For too long, I cradled the fact to consider myself an artist, and based on this imaginary status I did not think I would look after certain details, in some measure due. Who asked me, I said that I did very well be so, as long as I feel at ease with myself. I actually took out alone, I kept telling each other that this was, what I wanted, and she went back to sleep without saying a word. I felt that I was missing something, that was not the way I like to see me, but I just could not admit it in sincerity with myself, so I made up lies upon lies only to autoconvincermi.
you ask me what has finally opened his eyes. Be ', when you say destiny, it was the cinema, more specifically it was the night's Academy Awards. Among the candidates was the most independent film Preciuos , whose two actresses were nominated in their respective categories of Best actor and Best Supporting Role. Usually not followed the red carpet, because the ceremony I saw her alone, and then at 11 I went to bed to sleep a few hours and then wake up at 2 and follow the direct. This year, however, Anna was in instant communication with me and then I pulled even to the bitter end until after the conclusion of the evening, because in an unspecified there was immediately after a broadcast on a much more interesting film with very interesting 'immensely far more interesting character (and Forgive the chiasm). Back to us, while following the red carpet and in between my moaning ("I Want To Be theeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeere!") And other things here that make their walk Mo'Nique and Gabourey Sidibe, the protagonists of Precious . I had already seen at the Golden Globes, but it was at that moment, and I do not know what kinda why, in my head that everything has been done clean and clear as ever. And now, after a bit 'of time that I've got it over, maybe because I think I understand.
The fact is that so far, although I would have never admitted to anyone in the world, being as I was was something to hold on with all of me at times when it seemed that I actually wanted to incorporate within it, make them part of its monotony, its banality. To rebel said that no, I was not like everyone else, not badavo to appearances, I did not care that others do not regard me, while actually inside, at some subconscious level even if buried somewhere, every time I noticed these attitudes of people (and always noticed them, because damn it I have the same perception of Wolverine in these situations) somewhere resumed the blood to flow from the same wound never cicaturizzata. But I was too good at protecting myself from the truth, and eventually come to believe it was the reality, even though it was quite the opposite. So that Sunday night I wondered, as I imagined to be there, named among the nominees, and get ahead of others for not being in that mess of people who are barely able to walk, I wondered how I would have dressed I'd wear that dress and if, looking in the mirror before leaving the hotel room, I would be happy with myself and my body or if I felt the same discomfort and a little 'embarrassed that I had when I worn for the first time in ten years, a dress for my uncle's wedding last September.
understand that when you get to a level of self-consciousness that, well, 'is very difficult to continue to poke fun at themselves, to pretend that (all is well, all is well). This has nothing to do with the other, with the world, with all the various crap, this has to do only with themselves, and what you want to make their life. It 's just to put it in perspective, the other towards the medal "It's my life and I'll do what I want. It's my mind and I'll think what I want." Nothing more and nothing less. At the end of this whole story about this new life, about my future as regards the DAMS want to study in Rome. It 's the same vinyl that runs on mangiadischi.
few days ago that I visited my uncle who was in town for a film project, while spoke a little 'of this thing he asked me point blank that if I wanted to go to Cannes for his account. Except that at that moment I looked at him with sparkling eyes and calmly as possible much that I managed to murmur a "If I had my ..." that clearly hinted that my answer would have been if, when I came home and told my mother told me that surprise what about my future, what was not Bruce, was not only fun and that I had to follow whatever I come closer to my intent. In that moment I knew really, and perhaps with a clarity that I had never had before, that film for me is really something more, not just to say, not only in mo 'slogans. The cinema is my life, is what they have to fight if I want to be happy with myself if I want to one day look back at the road I have traveled, to say that he fought with every force at my disposal to achieve that goal coveted. To get my happiness.
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